One day at work my coworkers and I witnessed a bird repeatedly flying into one of our tempered tinted windows. The thing about the tint is that it’s kind of like those two-way mirrors we see in the movies. You had trouble seeing inside the building during daylight. But your reflection would be popping! We’ve observed many people checking themselves out, fixing makeup or wardrobe mishaps on plenty of days.
We couldn’t figure out what was up with this bird. Was it sick? Was it already injured? What? So, we did what anyone in our situation would have done and consulted Professor Google. Our search convinced us that what the bird was doing was territorial. The bird could see their reflection just as clear as we saw our own. But to the bird, it wasn’t a reflection. It was another bird encroaching. The sound of the bird repeatedly flying into the window was loud. We couldn’t help but be concerned. Why didn’t it realize how harmful and unsuccessful this battle was?
It was in observing this that the thought occurred to me that we at times do the same thing. There's a saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I thought, how often have I rammed my head into a wall? Figuratively, of course. But that encounter with the bird was enough to make me wonder about those types of moments where I made a challenger out of myself. Not realizing that it would be a losing battle. If I’m my own opponent, than one of me was going to lose that battle. And if that was the case, then why pour all that wasted energy into a battle I couldn’t win?
A tactic of the enemy is to keep us in a position where we do not forgive ourselves. Repenting of our sin and being told God forgives us sounds simple, right? If it’s as simple as that, then why is it such a challenge for us to forgive ourselves? Why do we repeatedly bang our heads against the wall in pursuit of failure? The key is this. I’m guilty. But when I have my day in court, I’m acquitted. Charges dropped. It wasn’t that I was innocent. It’s that when I stand before the judge, I’m told that someone else already paid the price. The time has already been served. So I’m free to go. Do I argue and insist I atone for my own sins? I should think not. But that is the beauty of the freedom Jesus grants us. It’s not so I can wallow in guilt. But it’s so I can embrace the cleansing that his blood offers.
So, if I don’t want to live life as that bird, then I need to learn to embrace true forgiveness. I need to accept the forgiveness that God offers me. It’s through accepting that gift that I learn to forgive myself and others. Don’t waste anymore time training for a battle versus yourself.
Stay Sunny!
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